Match #1
London Calling by The Clash hit and Paul London energetically ran to the ring to a good reaction. He posed on the top rope and soaked up a few cheers before backflipping back into the ring. He waited as some generic music hit and Brian Kendrick ran to the ring, with just as much energy as London had shown. The two exchanged a nod, and briefly shook hands just as the bell rang, but they didn't play up their old alliance too much. They both went in for the collar and elbow tie up, and London reversed into a hammerlock before forcing Kendrick into the corner, chest first, and dropkicking him into the ring post. Kendrick grabbed his ribs as he fell backwards, and London hit a modified back cracker, taking Kendrick down to the floor. London then slipped through the ropes so he was on the outside of the ring, and catapulted himself over the top rope, hitting a corkscrew elbow drop on Kendrick. The crowd applauded as London stayed on top of Kendrick in a cover. The referee counted...1...2...kickout. London wasn't disheartened. He continued the fight against Kendrick and the two of them put on an entertaining and fast-paced match, which pumped up the fans for the rest of the show. London had the advantage throughout, and when he took down London with a dropsault and went to the top rope, the fans screamed in anticipation for what was coming. London launched himself off the apron and hit Kendrick with the London Star Press. He covered...1...2...3! London won his debut match. Winner: Paul London
Reason: Kendrick was fired for pretending to be about 7 people...and Andrew's RP was hilarious.
Match #2
Regal v Jimmy Rave was cancelled.Winner: Nobody
Reason: No RPs.
SEGMENT
‘The Girls’ hit as the crowd erupted in boos, the odd smark cheer aside. Confetti fell from the rafters as Lance Storm emerged from the back. The boos got louder and louder as the fact that the EBWF World Champion was no longer Shawn Michaels was presented in the form of Lance Storm holding the title high above his head. Suddenly, for the first time in his tenure in EBWF, Lance Storm smiled. It was only brief however as he headed down to the ring in his resumed serious manner. He climbed into the ring and was handed a microphone by the announcer.
Lance Storm: Trust me, I’m as shocked as all you losers. But you can boo and bitch and whine all you want. The fact of the matter is, is that your NEW EBWF World Champion is me; Lance Storm. Now I don’t give a shit about celebrations or anything to that effect. You will see that that is not actually confetti, but little strips of paper with ENGLISH words on them. I suggest you learn them and pass them around, so you can understand my words of unrivalled genius. There’s one asshole that needs addressing. Triple H may have won the rumble, and he can have the title shot whenever he wants as he’ll face the same fate as his boyfriend. He can do whatever, all I’m interested in is getting revenge on your pathetic little messiah, Chris..
Suddenly, Lance was interrupted by "All That Remains" blasting over the PA System, and Chris Jericho walked out to a huge reception from the crowd. Microphone in hand, he began to speak.
Chris Jericho: Well congratulations Lance. I guess the Royal Rumble was the final step in your break through the "glass ceiling". You cut a deal with Ikeda, you take me out, then you win the World Title. Bravo junior, it's been a great few weeks for you. But you made a mistake... Because in case you haven't noticed, I'm back, and I'm pissed.
Lance Storm: Gee, really? Lemme guess, now it's time for everyone to be saved?
Chris Jericho: Well when a jackass like you is the EBWF World Champion, I think the EBWF needs saving.
Lance Storm: Still spouting out them Jericho classics? You blow me away every time. Jackass or not, I have the title. And that means you don't. Shame.
Chris Jericho: My Jericho classics have led me to three EBWF World Championships, one of which was a record breaking reign until Alex Shelley stole my thunder. And in case you didn't notice at the Rumble, your attack just before Christmas ignited a fire in me I thought I'd lost. You step into the ring with me and put that title on the line, I dare you. You think you'll walk out as Champ? Hell, I don't even think you'll walk out that night.
Lance Storm: Are you sure you'll be able to cope with me in the ring? I mean, without surprise attacking me after a gruelling main event match against one of the greatest assholes ever to wrestle?
Chris Jericho: In my defence, I did give you 23 seconds warning. From what your ex-wife tells me, that's longer than you can last in bed. I used my fists, you used brass knuckles. I'm sure I can cope with you in the ring, and the sooner I get that chance the better.
Lance Storm: Bedroom jokes? Have you joined D-X? How's about I set you up for a cock joke? Listen Jericho, you can run your prissy little rockstar mouth off as much as you want, you haven't done a damn thing to deserve my time, let alone a match with me.
Chris Jericho: Deserve your time? You don't deserve the air time you've been given tonight, before I showed up you were boring these fans to sleep! What did you do to deserve your Title shot? Backed out of a fight with Wes, took me out in your typically cowardly fashion... you're not fit to shine my shoes Lance.
Lance Storm: I think beating the champion clean means I'm deserving of a title shot, Mr Def Leppard...
Chris Jericho: I think your little Masked Avenger stunt the other month means I deserve a shot at revenge.
Lance Storm: If I give you a title shot and steal some of your classy assclown trademarks, will you please shut the hell up?
Chris Jericho: Careful Lance... you might actually show some personality if you keep making quick witted retorts like that. You name the time and place, and I'll gladly kick your ass... the Title would just be an added bonus.
Lance Storm: Well if we're talking about ass kickings... Look behind you.
Jericho turned around and was hit over the head by a steal chair. Storm’s accomplice gave no clues away regarding their identity, as they were masked, gloved and wearing all black. Storm worked up the ramp to join the masked attacker, stomping on Jericho a few times as he passed him. After grabbing Jericho by his hair and bitchslapping him, he walked to the back with his partner in crime.
Match #3
Killings came out to the ring and the fans booed. He was accompanied by Miss Jones as he slid into the ring. He was pumped up and looked aggressive as he waited for the music of Sheamus O'Shaunessy to hit. It did, and Killings mouthed "bring it on, punk!" towards the giant of a man who was making his way into the ring. Clearly Killings wasn't going to back down from a fight. Miss Jones slid out of the ring. Sheamus and Killings stared at one another intensely, as the bell rang. Killings started off by running towards Sheamus, ducking under a clothesline and bouncing off the ropes to come up behind the big man and deliver a swift spinning kick to the back of his knees. The shot brought Sheamus down onto one knee and Killings ran into the opposite set of ropes, this time hitting his opponent with a dropkick to the face. Killings took the fight to the big man, and took a pretty good beating himself during the process. Sheamus got a few good shots in, and busted Killings' eyebrow open with a punch. Killings wiped the blood from his face and seemed to become enraged. He was even more aggressive after that, and beat down Sheamus as viciously as he could, while using his speed to stay out of the Irish man's reach. When Killings felt like he'd had enough, he hit Sheamus with the Truth Conviction, and covered him for the 1...2...3. He gestured to Miss Jones to bring a mic into the ring for him, and she did.
Ron Killings: You see that Lacey? That's what you got coming to ya this week on Aggression! Thursday night, in Cage of Death II! I'll show you why no back-stabbing bitch gets the better of me...and THAT is the Truth.
Killings dropped the mic, and started to leave the ring when The Age of the Fall Music hit and Lacey stepped out onto the stage, backed up by Jimmy Jacobs.
Lacey: Ron, you're pathetic. Nice victory there, but Cage of Death II is going to be a whole different story. In fact, I think you need a little more time to prepare for it. So...you won't be facing me on Aggression. We'll save it for...hmmm...how about Fallout?
Ron Killings: Fallout? You want me to wait that long before choking you out, you scrawny bitch? Hell no! Unless...you make it with my while.
Lacey: Meaning?
Ron Killings: How 'bout you put that No Limits title on the line, and then I'll see you at Fallout in Cage of Death.
Lacey broke into a small smirk.
Lacey: You're on! It's not like you can beat me anyway...
Ron Killings: We'll see.
Lacey: Yes, we will.
With that, Lacey and Jacobs left the stage leaving Killings smirking at the bottom of the ramp.
Winner: Killings
Reason: No Sheamus Rp, and oh yeah...he was fired for being one of the 7 people Eric was pretending to be.
SEGMENT
The show returned from a commercial break and Ashley Massaro was standing in the ring. She had a microphone in hand and wore a big smile as she started to speak. Ashley Massaro: Hey guys! I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm out here. Well...the EBWF gave me my own talk show! So, welcome to Bangin' With Ashley! Tonight, my guest is a good friend of mine, please welcome...Kelly Kelly!
There was a decent round of applause as Kelly Kelly made her way to the ring. The young diva was handed a mic by Lilian Garcia, but neither she or Ashley had a chance to say anything before "Time to Play The Game" hit. The fans erupted in a mixture of cheers and boos as Triple H stepped through the curtain with the tag belt on his shoulder. He made his way to the ring, and Kelly and Ashley both looked at him curiously. He had his own microphone, and slid through the ropes before starting to speak.
Triple H: Now, hey...girls, don't mind me. Far be it for the Game to interrupt "bangin' with Ashley". But hey...it's not like bangin' with Ashley is a rare occurance, right?
Ashley looked confused and somewhat offended.
Ashley Massaro: What did you just say?
Triple H: Easy there...I didn't know you were deaf as well as stupid as well as slutty. I said that banging with Ashley was pretty fuckin' common. In other words...you're a whore, doll face.
Triple H looked at Kelly somewhat confused.
Kelly Kelly: Hey! You can't call her that.
Triple H: Oh, excuse me...I didn't realize spreads-her-legs Barbie was under EBWF contract. Then I remembered...that's because...she's not. Neither of you are.
Ashley Massaro: Um, I'm pretty sure you're wrong.
Triple H: Pretty sure? Pretty sure doesn't equal right. In fact, this comes from Wes Ikeda himself...he was gonna tell you in person, but he didn't think being seen with prostitutes in public was a wise move before his divorce...so he sent me.... Girls, not only are you both fired, but your little "talk show" is cancelled. Seems like although you've been blowin' plenty of guys in the back, you haven't been blowing the ones that give a shit what happens to ya once you get off your knees. Oh...which reminds me, Batista, John Cena, Rhino, and the Cleveland Mafia are also out of the picture, as they're all home suffering with the sexually transmitted diseases that Kelly and Ashley passed on to them.
Ashley Massaro: Hold up! I never slept with Ray Rowe! Or Rhino!
Kelly looked bashful for a moment, then spoke.
Kelly Kelly: Uh, yeah...sorry Ash...that mighta been me.
Triple H: I rest my case. Now, just to be clear, there's a free clinic just down the street...I suggest each of you go for a check-up before heading back to the States. Lord knows this locker room has enough whores in it already... now, get the hell out of my ring.
Kelly and Ashley both glared at Hunter with an evil eye before heading to the back. Triple H waited for them to be out of sight before holding the mic to his lips.
Triple H: Now...as you all know, standing before you at this very moment is the man who won the Royal Rumble. I'm not going to be an idiot and demand my title shot before Wrestlemania, because as far as I'm concerned, time is my ally. So Lance Storm...you don't have to worry about Triple H, or Shawn Michaels for that matter. 'Cause not only will Lance have lost the belt by the time Mania rolls around, but he also won't have to worry about a Shawn Michaels return match. Yeah...DX are gonna leave Lance to his own devices, because right now we've got smaller fish to fry...with the Hart Foundation. Teddy, Bret, word is spreadin' fast. You're the number one contenders for our tag titles...well, shit...bring it on. I know Shawn won't mind taking his frustrations out on a Canadian, and I sure as hell know I've never hesitated to smack a Hart in the face. So next week, we make this shit official. Leave the pink ring attire at home, girls... world title loss or not, come Aggression... The Boys are back in town.
Triple H threw the mic to the canvas before walking back up the ramp.
Match #5
Kennedy v Orton was also cancelled. Winner: Nobody
Reason: No roleplays.
Match #5
Voodoo Kin Mafia were making there in ring debut against the Cleveland Mafia, who were also debuting. The match was pretty one sided with Eric Ryan dominating for a while until Rowe got tagged in. Ray Rowe charged towards BG James and Eric Ryan, firing punches left and right at both members of VKM. They were momentarily down, and Rowe taunted before tagging back in J-Rocc. James made his way back to the apron and Eric Ryan managed to tag him in before J-Rocc could prevent it. The match quickly became a brawl between two smash mouth Wrestlers. BG countered the Running power bomb from J-Rocc into a pump handle suplex and covered...Rowe started to run into the ring but Eric Ryan mat him and knocked him out with a flying forearm. He went for the pin 1..2.. J-Rocc reversed. The referee counted...1...2...3! Cleveland Mafia celebrated as they were on their way to the finals of the tag tournament.
Match #6
Numb/Encore hit and Shane Helms made his way to the ring to a great ovation. He played up to the Austrian crowd, who showered him with cheers. He removed his faux-leather jacket and his beanie and awaited the arrival of Maven. Maven also got a decent reaction as he made his way to the ring to Tattoo by Mercy Drive. The two nodded respectfully at each other and the bell rang. They locked up, and Helms got the early advantage, turning the collar and elbow tie-up into a side headlock. Maven didn't stay in the vulnerable position for long. He run towards the ropes, pushing Helms into them and using the momentum to whip Helms across the ring. Helms rebounded back off the other set of ropes, having had his side headlock broken, and Maven took Helms down with an armdrag. Helms was quick to his feet, and ran at Maven with a clothesline attempt. Maven ducked, and took Helms down with a drop toe hold. The crowd applauded as Maven locked in a leg lock for a few moments, before Helms made it to the ropes. Maven broke the hold cleanly, and willingly allowed Helms to get back to his feet. The two were on seemingly equal footing and the match continued that way for a good eight minutes. The fans were seemingly very into the contest and were "oooh"ing and "aaaah"ing with every big move or near fall. Maven caught Shane Helms with a kick to the stomach, and bent him over for the Tough Luck, but as he launched Helms into the air, Helms reversed the powerbomb move into a hellacious DDT, sending Maven's head into the canvas with a thud. Helms steadied himself, and waited for Maven to start to sit up before hitting him with the Shining Wizard! Helms covered...1...2...3! Helms was declared the winner and had his arm raised in victory. Maven began to stir, and slowly got to his feet, holding the back of his head. Helms nodded at him, showing his respect and Maven held out his hand toward the EBWF veteran. Helms accepted the hand shake and raised Maven's hand also as the Austrian crowd applauded. Suddenly, Wes Ikeda made his way to the ring without any entrance music...he slid through the ropes, and the fans seemed intrigued by the sudden appearance of the EBWF Chairman. Helms and Maven were both intrigued as well. Wes stepped towards them, and took everyone by surprise by hitting Helms with the facelock jaw breaker. Wes got back up and hit Maven with the same move, then he left the ring. The fans booed intently as he walked up the ramp, and the shot faded to black as he disappeared through the curtain.
